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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 20
8th September, 2005 'CORTEZZI DEAD ' Following on from yesterdays article concerning Joseph_Cortezzi and his plans to wage war on the Mystery Men, the gang boss was found shot dead in an alley near his home. Police have refused to name any suspects, although it is believed the killer was TonyMontello who shot the would-be warlord before Cortezzi could make any moves. He was believed to be working as an agent of the Mystery Men at the time of the killing, although it is unclear what his connections with the Detroit gang are. Reports have suggested that an exorcist was called to the Cortezzi home shortly before the man’s death as it is claimed that he was babbling about being possessed on the night he declared war. He also claimed to have no recollection of a conversation with one of the night cleaners he irritated with his litter throwing on the same evening. A priest approached our reporter and told us that it had been a very sad case. Cortezzi had been delusional and rambling about being his sister before stumbling out of the house and being gunned down. 'MR MAFIA UNDER INVESTIGATION' By: Undercover_Reporter On September 3rd, after reading issue sixteen of the gazette particularly the article “Mr. Mafia Contest – Rumours of Bribes, I decided to do some investigating of my own. I was shocked at what I uncovered. When I started the investigation I was open minded. I didn’t focus on any one specific candidate. However, my investigation led to re-evaluate that process. One person’s name kept popping up over and over again. That name was MadDog. I have a friend at the First National Bank who let me see MadDog’s bank transactions. I was quite surprised to see large amounts of money paid to Bluebell, Lexicon, Trixie, Tallulah, Cora and Pallida. All were judges in the Mr. Mafia contest. Later I found payments to BarbieDahl and Shackleford, the contest sponsors. There was also a payment to Rhiannon after she was chosen to set on the panel. These transactions totalled over $750K. I am sure something fishy was going on so I rung his phones and asked him to meet me at a diner to discuss that sale of his slots. That was just a wild goose chase so I could break into his house and snoop around without fear of getting caught. In his desk draw were invitations to all the judges. The invite read. “Enclosed pleased find $1000. Treat yourself to a night at the casino. I recommend you play the $1, $5 and $25 classic fruit machines.” I was dumbfounded. First bribes and next he treats them to a night on the town. I had my man. I knew what the deal was. I was not prepared for what I found next. I searched his garbage can in his office. I found several carbons that came from his typewriter. The first couple were of no interest. Then holding one to the light I saw this one to Sefton. It read simply “Withdraw from the Mr. Mafia contest or I will have you killed.” My God this is just a contest. It is not worth dying for. But that message spurred me to keep digging; a second carbon produced this, a note to Tallulah. “I know you will do the right thing. We wouldn’t want something to happen to the Gazette would we? Like a fire.” I had all the evidence I needed. MadDog is no more worth of being Mr. Mafia than I am. I am let though with one pressing thought: Is there anything MadDog won’t do to win the Mr. Mafia contest? 'POLICE RAID GANG HEADQUARTERS' From: Firanca A police sting was thwarted it emerged several days ago, when a nightclub raid turned into a farce. The club, believed to be owned by the shadowy 'Rising Sun' gang, was under surveillance by Chicago police after gunshots were reported in the vicinity. When they finally made their move, it had been emptied, with no evidence of use whatsoever. Presence of an illegal syndicate has been confirmed, after previous sightings were made definite, but any traces are gone and the targets vanished. Rumours hint that a gang battle may've claimed several of the gang, whilst survivors cover their tracks. Furious officials are revealing nothing. The club has been known to police for some time. It is in a secret location in downtown Chicago, and was thought of as an exclusive club until police attention due to a recent boom in gang crime revealed there was more to it. Released yesterday was the only lead the police had, a graffiti mural, previously unseen, on the back of the building. Photos of the mural have been released, showing this chilling message emblazoned on the brickwork: 'MY FRIENDS, MEMBERS OF THE RISING SUN, OUR GREAT LEADER HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM US. THIS MUST NOT STAND. CONTACT THOSE YOU KNEW FROM THE GANG AND LET US HELP EACH OTHER SURVIVE AS HE COULD NOT.' Police are still searching the vicinity for anything to identify those who had settled here before, and plead that anyone with information should come forward immediately. 'SPECIAL BULLETIN' From: Firanca The city of Las Vegas is under threat, it emerged yesterday evening. An all-new mob threat is surfacing, as all over the city, an unknown gangster had left a threatening message all over the city. Telephone boxes, sidewalks, subway walls and even office buildings have been defaced with the message: MMM is coming. It has been suggested the message to the city is a threat from a mafia big player, a warning that a new, unthinkable crime spree may begin. The coming of a new syndicate altogether is not out of the question. The message hangs over citizens’ heads, as another remarkable breach of the law in an increasingly down-spiralling city. Toni Firanca, reporting 'DEATH' By: KutterG 96 have died in the last day a tragic recurring scene that is a common occurrence in our great nation. Built on lies deceit murder and bribes these are the result of a life of crime does it pay or doesn’t it? Here are some of the deceased: Tony_Lambrianou a hoodlum from Chicago was killed during a mugging. He was obviously trying to make money fast. Few people turned up to his funeral here is what they had to say * Regg1e: **Lays a white rose** *Bitch_Moncher: I got a rose *SLIQUE: a hoodlum trying to make it in life was Murdered by AngryChris, twenty people arrived at his funeral all showing love and respect among the mourners was his wife Mileena who was crying which pained all there. *Mileena: No this can’t be happening. *Ryder_x: RIP homie *Princess-mai: Laid a white rose on his casket. These were just a few others attended the funeral such as WelsHWizard2, Humberto_Leon, little-ze, and many, many more. Ghetto_princess a hoodlum that died on Sep 7th 9:02PM, Her brother and friends were at the funeral all saying there rest in piece and bidding her far well now she is dead. Many others have died that deserved just as much writing as these. They will be spoken about by many for a long time to come. 'FEATURED POEM' By: limey Mafia.org Mafia.org is the place that I go, To chat with friends and shoot a foe. Making money is the main endeavour, When I rank up I’ll live forever. Starting low, I mug a gran, I really want to reach made man! Citizen, thug, hoodlum, Street Boss, What comes next? I’m at a loss? I’ve been with bubba and done my time , I have committed every crime. I chased and killed the man who mugged me, I’ve dodged bullets from the Men of Mystery, I’ve survived a multiple jail cell shanking, What is stopping me from ranking? And now my gun is confiscated, My health is low, I’m so frustrated. Crime it seems is too unhealthy, Lets hope the horses make me wealthy. Trifecta bets are all in place, The outsider wins! What a disgrace! Will nothing ever go my way? I need some money right away. Maybe the drugs will get me sorted, Damn! Caught again, away I’m carted. I visit the Priest to confess and pray, I even donate the last of my pay. Destitute and on my knees, I’m begging, “Help me please” 'COOKERY CORNER' With: Rhiannon After a long hard day of crimes, I know I like to come home and sit down to a delicious meal that everyone in my family can enjoy. Here's one of my personal favourites. I hope you enjoy! Classic Italian Lasagne Recipe Summary Difficulty: Medium Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 45 minutes Yield: 6 servings Béchamel Sauce ingredients: 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus 2 tablespoons for the lasagne 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 4 cups whole milk at room temperature Pinch freshly grated nutmeg 1 1/2 cups tomato sauce, recipe follows Salt and white pepper 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil 1 pound ground chuck beef Salt and pepper 1 1/2 pounds ricotta cheese 3 large eggs 1 pound lasagne sheets, cooked al dente 2 packages (10 ounces each) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry 3 cups shredded mozzarella 1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Preparing the Béchamel sauce: In a 2-quart pot, melt 5 tablespoons of butter over medium heat. When butter has completely melted, add the flour and whisk until smooth, about 2 minutes. Gradually add the milk, whisking constantly to prevent any lumps from forming. Continue to simmer and whisk over medium heat until the sauce is thick, smooth and creamy, about 10 minutes. The sauce should be thick enough to coat the back of wooden spoon. Remove from heat and add the nutmeg and tomato sauce. Stir until well combined and check for seasoning. Set aside and allow to cool completely. In a sauté pan, heat extra-virgin olive oil. When almost smoking, add the ground beef and season with salt and pepper. Brown meat, breaking any large lumps, until it is no longer pink. Remove from heat and drain any excess fat. Set aside and allow to cool completely. In a medium sized bowl, thoroughly mix the ricotta and eggs. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside. Into the bottom of a 13 by 9-inch baking dish, spread 1/3 of the béchamel sauce. Arrange the pasta sheets side by side, covering the bottom of the baking dish. Evenly spread a layer of all the ricotta mixture and then a layer of all the spinach. Arrange another layer of pasta sheets and spread all the ground beef on top. Sprinkle 1/2 the mozzarella cheese on top of the beef. Spread another 1/3 of the béchamel sauce. Arrange the final layer of pasta sheets and top with remaining béchamel, mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. Cut the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter into 1/4-inch cubes and top lasagne. Line a large baking sheet with aluminium foil. Place lasagne dish on top, cover and put on the middle rack of the oven and bake until top is bubbling, about 30 minutes. Remove cover and continue to bake for about 15 minutes. Simple Tomato Sauce: 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil 1 small onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1 stalk celery, chopped 1 carrot, chopped Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 2 (32-ounce) cans crushed tomatoes 2 dried bay leaves 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, optional In a large casserole pot or Dutch over, heat oil over medium high heat. Add onion and garlic and sauté until soft and translucent, about 5 to 10 minutes. Add celery and carrots and season with salt and pepper. Sauté until all the vegetables are soft, about 5 to 10 minutes. Add tomatoes and bay leaves and simmer uncovered on low heat for 1 hour or until thick. Remove bay leaves and check for seasoning. If sauce still tastes acidic, add unsalted butter, 1 tablespoon at a time to round out the flavours. Add 1/2 the tomato sauce into the bowl of a food processor. Process until smooth. Continue with remaining tomato sauce. If not using all the sauce, allow it to cool completely and pour 1 to 2 cup portions into freezer plastic bags. This will freeze up to 6 months. Yield: 6 cups Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 1 hour and 20 minutes Ease of Preparation: Easy 'THE COCTAIL LOUNGE' Barman: John_Cougar "What kind of bartender would you be if you didn’t know how to mix this classic drink at your next black tie affair?" The CLASSIC Dry Martini. 1 oz gin (a shot) 1/2 oz French dry vermouth (half shot) 2 dashes orange bitters (optional: may substitute a sweet vermouth) Olive Combine liquor in a shaker, and stir. Never shake a martini. Strain (through strainer at top of shaker) into a martini glass. Garnish with olive." 'WE HEAR THAT…' Gossip column by: Trixie ....BarbieDahl has a little bladder control problem. She mentioned to an associate that she almost wet her pants, and then blushed profusely. On the subject of bodily functions, we hear that Brittani has a spastic Colon...Gross, don’t you agree? At least both women can depend on Depends. ....TieDomi was seen walking into Finding Neverland bar and yelling at his imaginary friends about taking his picture. When questioned about it, he said no one was supposed to know. But little did he know, this nosy gossip was hiding in the corner. ....after doing some snooping we found out that Jellyman is actually a Jam, not a jelly. We are disappointed but figure his parents were a bit confused about the differences. ....Gothic-Angel likes to dance around in her underwear when she thinks no one is looking and belt out the Spice Girls at the top of her lungs. Oh wait...That’s me. Sorry Gothic-Angel. ....Tallulah has found herself a boyfriend! That’s right folks, she came into the newsroom all a glow because of this special someone...Now if only this gossip Queen could figure out his name! 'CLASSIFIEDS' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to Tallulah at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. Are you ready for the Gridiron season?? got some money burning a hole in your pocket? do you know the mortal lock for this weeks U.S. Football games? If yes is your answer to any of these questions then stop by the Friendly Penguin Sports Book in Las Vegas of course. Wager on the games. Pro and college. Friendly staff and reliable service. http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=4027 'NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE ' The Gazette will now be offering a subscription service for anyone wishing to receive the Mafia Gazette by mob mail or post. Subscriptions will cost$200 per week, $380 per fortnight, $700 per month or $5,000 for a lifetime subscription (post option only for fortnightly, monthly or lifetime subscriptions). All subscriptions will start from the day after subscription fees are paid. Please contact Tallulah for details of subscriptions or to apply to deliver the Gazette weekly subscriptions Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact Tallulah, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. '' 'REFERENCES''' '''1. '''Article taken from http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=28. Browse • • • • • • •